Let me be direct here (you know I like that ), in 99.9% of all cases, if you are struggling at the moment, you feel like you are fighting the world, builders are being an arse, you aren’t getting the results you want, then YOU are the problem.
Now I know it isn’t easy to accept, but it is essential to do so.
You might not like me right now for saying that, but if I am honest, I don’t care (soz not soz) because I have been you, and I was a moron.
Let me explain why I am being this way………
This Monday, like the first Monday of every month, I spent a full day with 60 or so serious property investors at our monthly Mastermind.
We were lucky to be joined by Maggie Albrecht of Life Redefined UK, an NLP practitioner and coach.
Now you may ask, Danny what the hell does NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) have to do with being a success and property investment?
Let me answer.
The understanding of yourself (know thyself) and other people (see the last blog post) is the complete underpinning structure (I am so property relevant) of any success, in any business.
If you are shit with people, and don’t know how to control yourself and your emotions, why you think a certain way, and how to manage situations effectively to get the best result for all parties, then to be frank you are fooked’. You are going to go from disaster to disaster, playing the blame game (victim mentality) and life will be a bit of a battle.
The good news is that we can all get better. We can all improve this, the brain is a muscle that used in the right way can strengthen. Our thoughts become our reality. If you think the worst in everyone, then your subconscious (pesky subconscious) actions towards them will create the worst in everyone.
We need to stop creating stories in our head that haven’t happened yet, avoid the self fulfilling prophecy cycle.
So can we use NLP to make ourselves more successful you ask?
Also-fucking-lutely I answer.
And this I love.
I am obsessed (you may have guessed) with personal development, self improvement, and the understanding of the weird thing that is the human being (honestly we are a messed up bunch, colliding together in a very weird world). I have been the person who decided that I was always right, I don’t care what other people think and why they think I am wrong, and that it is my way or the highway. Shit, it was hard work.
Now often what people are saying isn’t actually that important (bare with me), it is actually WHY they are saying it that matters more. NLP helps you to not only reprogram your own thoughts, but to analyse and help to reprogram the thoughts of others. Everyone has their own position and stands by it staunchly. An argument is 2 people with different positions standing by them aggressively, and shouting louder to be heard. It is pointless.
Establishing why people feel the way that they do, and how we can influence them to see differently is the real aim.
What happens is NEVER the issue, literally everything (apart from death) can be resolved, it is always the reaction to the event that is the issue.
If your life isn’t serving you at this minute, if something in business or home feels like an almighty battle, start to react differently and encourage others to do the same – it will change your life.
WE CANNOT CONTROL EVERY EVENT, WE CAN ONLY CONTROL OUR REACTIONS TO THEM.
I only see challenges, I don’t see blockers/problems/reasons to give up. Challenges are good they stretch the comfort zone and make dealing with the next challenge much easier.
Mastering NLP (or at least starting to learn about it) will change your life. It will help you to move towards being a success. And fortunately, NLP training and practitioners have conveniently built “NLP principles for success”
- KNOW YOUR OUTCOME. This was a major part of our discussion on Monday and we went into even more detail. What do you actually want to achieve from every meeting, discussion, goal, business plan, investment etc etc. Be clear on what you will make happen, by when, and why you want to make it happen. (PS notice this says what you WILL make happen, not what you don’t want to happen. Speak in the positive – it will change your life)
- TAKE ACTION – well duuuuuuuh. Yes this is obvious, but so many people bloody talk a good game, and then when you dig deeper they are full of sh*t (hello property education world – I see you). To know and not to do is not to know. You can have all the best knowledge in the world, training your brain to its full capacity, but if you do nothing its a complete waste of time. GET OFF YOUR ARSE AND DO SOMETHING.
- HAVE SENSORY ACUITY (you what mate?) – basically in caveman from Warrington terms (me) – know what your senses are for, and be good at using them. Be aware of what your senses are saying to you. Read situations well using your god given senses. Does something smell like trouble (or sh*t) – if so don’t go there.
- HAVE BEHAVIOURAL FLEXIBILITY (you what again mate?) – this isn’t doing the splits, if it was I would be in a lot of bother. This means adapt your behaviour to any circumstance. Be flexible in how you behave, depending on your environment, and what your outcome is. YOU control your behaviour, and in doing so it can help to control someone elses. For instance – you walk on site the builder is shouting and screaming he hasn’t been paid (you haven’t paid him because he hasn’t done the job agreed). Shouting back at him isn’t going to end well. He has lads on site, he needs to pay, he needs to come from a position of authority and look like he has his lads back, he is the leader of their pack. Understand the environment, and your outcome. Reacting doesn’t change the problem , whether you have a blazing row or not the work will still need to be done, whether they stay or go. Make your decisions accordingly.
- OPERATE FROM PHYSIOLOGY AND PSYCHOLOGY OF EXCELLENCE – you know those people that walk into a room and straight away they own it, people flock around them and everyone wants to hear them talk, yeh those gits have mastered this one. I genuinely believe to be a success you have to train yourself to feel like one (often long before you are – remember FACE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT). Confidence and positive energy are the key. People buy from people, and desperation and lack of belief STINK (sensory acuity wehey) when it comes to success, people can sense it. This needs to be trained, you need to back yourself when you walk into any room, know your shit, own your shit, and own the room.
BAD NEWS WARNING – if you can’t identify with any of the above, you are highly likely to struggle in many areas of life. It will be tough, and its your fault (sozzzzz)
GOOD NEWS WARNING – it can change, its all trainable. I believe in nurture over nature. The learning of the skills may come easier to some people (perceived “born with it”) but the learning of the skills can come to all. Just maybe not that easily. Nothing worth having ever is.
It is for sure going to be easier than going from struggle to struggle though. I promise you that.
Go make them changes folks (if you want or need to)