Can you think of a person who just seems to get their way and get on in life?
You know, the type of person who could land in a barrel of sh*t and come out smelling of roses (that sentence is one of few things I can thank my old man for)
I have been told I am one of those people, but like everything in life I don’t put it down in the slightest to luck.
I am a people person. Without sounding like an egotistical loon, and purely for the factual analysis in this Blog – People, generally, like me.
Now it hasn’t always been this way……………….
Now I know its hard to believe but, I have been during my 33 years, and at various stages, a bit of a Tw*t – and as if by coincidence these have been the stages in my life where I have faced most resistance and the most unpleasant times.
Now most people would say – “You were only being like that because you had X, Y and Z going on, or you were under pressure.”
I would say – “I only had X, Y and Z going on because I was being like that.”
That is some true talk, and true reflection for you. Your behaviour influences your circumstances much much more than your circumstances should influence your behaviour.
You are responsible for what happens to and for you, OWN IT!!! You also have a choice, work with people in a way that they can make it easier for you, or push them in a way to make it harder. I spent too long doing the latter, now I am obsessed with doing the former.
So, in my time in obsessing with the study of people, I have read thousands of books now on NLP (Derren Brown without the trickery), mindset, coaching, psychology, management, the human race, money and anything else that can help me understand the weirdest specimen in the Solar System (people) I have concluded some thoughts on how I want to behave with them.
These behaviours have helped me to:
– Position myself as an advisor to high profile investors/sportsmen/high net worth individuals/celebrities
– Negotiate directly with the major decision makes and/or owners of major lenders.
– Negotiate substantial property investment deals direct with owners, when it all seemed to be going south.
– Diffuse major issues with investment partners, staff members, lenders, valuers and anyone else who has had a bad day and kicks up a stink.
– have the faith that I could sell ice to an Inuit (I only sell what I believe in but you get the point)
– Generally just get on with focussing on keeping the main things the main things.
– Likely many other things I have forgotten to list or are yet to happen yet.
I strongly believe that a lot of our success and progress comes down to relationships. It is key. Of the three P’s in Property ( Property, Profit and People) I would say that the other two are in major doubt without the quality of working with people.
Now let me just add a caveat here. I am not a cyborg. People often piss me off. I don’t always get what I want from everyone, and some people are beyond salvage (no matter how many of the tips I am about to talk about you implement). People are one hell of a variable. BUT – changing yourself first (you can control that), and looking to react and work with people the right way, I believe, will see you progress at a rate that you haven’t experienced before.
It worked for me
So, what are the tips? I will give you mine – if you think of any more please comment away, I love learning and always will. (see tip 1)
1. You don’t know everything. He who thinks he does has truly learnt nothing. Be humble enough to believe that every person that you meet can add something to your life and your knowledge, because they can.
2. Give value without expectation. I used to be a believer in scarcity. My knowledge is mine, if I pass it to someone else they will steal my opportunities. That is a shit way of thinking – and actually completely stupid. We live in a world of abundance with a lot of opportunity – it is harder to be a trailblazer than it is to follow one. My success has rocketed since I began to share content without expectation. People are interested, and you can market yourself whilst helping people – what a win.
3. Be decent enough to always give people your time and energy (when you have it), and apologise if you do not. Often in life the higher a monkey climbs the more of his ASS you see. Don’t be that ASS. I try and pride myself on spending time replying to people, or answering questions for them all at an event, and remembering as many names as I can (hugely impacting). Now I know its not possible at all times (the insta messages you get at 1am on a Sunday asking how to be a property investor that you forget even happened when you woke up – this actually happens…..a lot) – but give it your best shot. People will remember the effort you made, no matter how small it seems to you.
4. Always look for the win-win. Help me, to help you, to help me. In any position, both good and bad, you have to look for the other persons angle and relate it to your own. This is the biggest part of negotiation.
– What does the other person want?
– Can I give it to them without hindering myself (or is it worth hindering myself)
– What do I want and what are the benefits?
– What is their pain/motivation (without this there is no deal to be had) and how can I help?
Every discussion I have with everyone my subconscious is asking these questions.
5. Don’t judge a book by its cover. Expect to be surprised. There is nothing as queer as folk. Some of the wealthiest people I have met have dressed like a Hobo, some of the most skint have driven a car that would turn heads. If you give everyone the time of day, and apply tips 1-4 above, you will soon find out what is going on with people, and how you can help one another.
Also – don’t judge in general – just because someone doesn’t know something that you do, or doesn’t grasp a concept as quickly doesn’t mean that they are stupid. The great thing about people is that we are all good at something, and usually something very different to another person.
Thats why someone can always add value to your life, because they are statistically very likely to be good at something you ain’t. (and this is also why our education system is fooked – but that’s another rant)
My uncle, Albert Einstein (he’s not my uncle) put it best
So in conclusion;
WE NEED PEOPLE
If you plan on being a success on your own – I wish you all the very best (you have no chance)
You can be as extraordinary as they come. You could be the Cristiano Ronaldo (or Messi, thats another argument) of the business world, but if you try and do this alone, without recognising the value of other people in your life, then don’t bother starting.
If you piss everyone off, then you will be on your own pretty soon, you have no chance.
If you don’t offer people value, then you will be on your own pretty soon, and you have no chance.
If you believe in scarcity and abundance, then you will be on your own pretty soon, and you have no chance.
If you look to win yourself, without helping or at the cost of others, then you will be on your own pretty soon, and you have no chance.
If you judge people then you will be on your own pretty soon, and you have no chance.
Give yourself a chance – be good to, with and for people. It goes far further than you will ever realise.